Sol is running late. She wasn’t happy with Greg for keeping her out late last night knowing she was meeting her girlfriends at 11. She shakes her head as she recounts her disastrous night with Greg’s friends. The sooner she can get to the restaurant and share her drama the better. Her friends always have good advice.
Sol pulls her white Audi S4 into the parking lot and runs inside as quickly as her 4-inch pumps will allow. The Belvedere is a posh, European bistro located inside the Peninsula Hotel. Candace and Sol meet their friends Tracy and Shawn on the patio every Saturday for brunch and mimosas.
Sol walks out onto the veranda towards her friends. They are already seated at their favorite table that looks out onto Santa Monica Blvd. The ladies all look up and greet their late arrival.
“Hey girl!” Shawn greets her with a smile. They exchange cheek kisses.
“You’re never late, Sol. Are you okay?” Candace questions with a frown.
Sol smiles, she expected the inquisition from Candace. “I’ve got a story for you guys but first I need a latte!”
Tracy looks down at Sol’s feet, “Damn girl, I’m feelin’ those Louboutins! What size do you wear again?” Sol stops and does a quick model for Tracy before sitting.
“You aren’t coming anywhere near my new shoes Tracy! Don’t even think about it!” Sol laughs and looks around the table, “So how is everyone today?”
Tracy smiles, “I’m fine but the question is, how is Candace?” She swivels in her chair to face her friend. “Soooo, I hear you got quit Miss Candy!”
Candace’s mouth drops open, “Wow, thanks for the support! You’re lucky you’re one of my best friends because don’t nobody talk to me like that!” She playfully punches Tracy in the arm. “You think because you’ve known me since the third grade that you can talk to me any ole way?”
“Uh, yeah! We’re damn near family! I’m just mad I wasn’t the first person you called about Ron dumping you! I mean shit, thankfully Sol here can’t hold water or who knows when I woulda found out!”
Sol chimes in, “There’s no secrets here. She was going to tell you Tracy.”
Shawn looks confused, “Ron left you? Where have I been in all this?”
Tracy cuts in, “At home with your fine ass husband! Don’t worry Shawn I wouldn’t even know the president was black if I had all that man at home with me!” She takes a sip of her water and directs her attention back to Candace, “Now back to you keeping shit from me.”
Candace rolls her eyes. “I was not keeping things from you! I was going to tell you today, I just didn’t want you showing up at Ron’s house with your pistol! We all know how crazy your ass can be!”
“Don’t act like you know me bitch! I woulda brought my knife, it’s harder for those CSI’s to trace!”
The women were laughing so hard that they didn’t notice that their favorite server, Warren, was standing at their table. “Uh oh! The cackling is starting early today! How about a round of mimosa’s to keep the party going?”
They greet him in chorus, “Hey Warren!” The women loved having Warren as their waiter. He was funny and had a body better than any athlete they’d ever seen! He made terrific eye candy.
Candace grabs her menu and hands it to Warren, “I’ll take you up on that offer, sir!” She looks around the table, “You guys know I already know what I want.”
Shawn chuckles, “Yeah, yeah, crab crepes.” She studies her menu, “I’ll take that mimosa, Warren, but I’m going to need a few more minutes.”
“No problem Shawn.” Warren smiles, “You’re looking fantastic by the way!”
Shawn blushes, “Thanks.”
Tracy smacks Warren with her menu, “You better quit flirting with my friend before I tell your man!”
Warren laughs loudly, “Shut your mouth Tracy! If I had a man to tell he’d compliment her too! Do you know what you’d like to order?”
“I’m feelin’ good today so I think I’m going to get some of that famous mac n’ cheese!”
He writes her order on his pad and peeks at her. “Do I need to even ask you about the drink?” Tracy winks at him
Candace looks at Tracy, “You’re trying to spend all day on the treadmill tomorrow aren’t you?”
“Mind your business woman!”
Sol looks at Warren, “I’m going to need a few minutes too hun. I’m having an indecisive moment but I will take a latte.”
“Aww, no mimosa today?”
“Not after the night I had!”
“Okay, I’ll be back in a few for the rest of your orders!” Tracy admires Warren’s behind as he walks back into the restaurant.
Candace directs her attention towards Sol, “So, what happened last night?”
Sol puts her hand on her forehead and groans, “Oh my god I’ve never been so embarrassed in my whole life! So I’ve told you guys how Greg and his friends at work have this weird money competition thing going on right? Well one of them just bought a new house in Brentwood, it’s actually a few houses down from OJ Simpson’s house. Anyway, I went along even though I really wanted to stay home and talk to Greg about our future. Do you know that he’s never brought up the conversation of us getting engaged? And every time that I do he starts some sort of fight and I always end up apologizing!”
Tracy cuts her off, “What the hell are you apologizing for? For doing everything his ass wants? Are you kidding me Sol?”
“Let her finish Tracy.”
“Thanks Candace. He’s really good with arguments Tracy. He IS a lawyer! He has a way of turning the conversation around to make me feel like I’m wrong for even bringing it up!
“But back to last night, we get to the house and I run into Shelly. She’s the girlfriend of one of Greg’s friends. We kinda had a connection because she’s another long-time girlfriend, she’s been with Nick for four years! We’d sit around at these get-togethers and talk about our men and how they won’t commit. Well, I was looking forward to another conversation with her and she shows up with a ring on! Nick proposed to her the night before!”
Candace gasps, “Oh no, really?”
“I tried to be happy for her but inside I felt like crap! But here’s the worst part; one of the wives walks up to me and asks me where my husband was! I told her that Greg and I weren’t married and she was like ‘Oh I figured since you’ve been together so long that you two were married. My mistake! I guess not everyone’s as lucky as Shelly!’ Can you believe her?”
“That bitch!” Tracy spat. “She knew what she was doing! That was intentional! You need to bring me to the next one of these functions and point her ass out! What’d you do after she said that?”
“I burst into tears and ran into the bathroom! I didn’t know what else to do!”
Shawn tries to console her, “I’m sorry you had to go through that Sol.”
“What is it with men and commitment?” Candace wonders out loud. “What’s a woman gotta do to get a ring on her finger?”
Tracy looks at Sol, “What you need to do is get pregnant! Trap his ass! If he don’t marry you at least you’ll have a steady stream of income for the next eighteen years! It worked with Trevor, his dumb ass didn’t see me coming!”
Sol laughs, “Stop it Tracy! How’s your lil’ man doing anyway?”
“Bad as ever! You know what his behind did yest—’’ suddenly a car driving down Santa Monica stops in front of the restaurant loudly playing W.T.P. by Eminem. “Wait a minute, that’s my song!” Tracy throws her hands in the air and sings along,
“So let’s have us a lil bash
If anyone asks,
It ain’t no one but us trash,
You don’t know you betta ask somebody,
Cuz we’re having a White Trash Party!”
Candace stares at Tracy, shaking her head. “You have to be the ghettoist white chick that I’ve ever met! Why must you insist on acting a fool in public?”
Tracy laughs, “Oh shut up Inglewood! We grew up on the same street!”
“Yes but we don’t live there anymore! I’ve managed to evolve, wanna join me?”
“Negative!”
Warren returns with their drinks and takes Shawn and Sol’s orders. Shawn orders the ahi tuna and Sol decides on the risotto.
The women all sit back in their chairs enjoying the sunshine and atmosphere. “You know what?” Tracy blurts out. “I’m tired of men! They get to come and go as they want and treat women however they want!” Her friends shake their heads in agreement. “I mean, Ron could’ve been steppin’ out on you Candace, you ever think about that? And Greg may be gay Sol, you ever think about THAT?”
Sol chokes on her latte, “What? Why would you say that? That’s terrible!”
“I’m not saying that he IS gay, Sol! I’m just trying to make the point that we women are subjected to these problems with our men and we have no solutions. We just have to sit around on a Saturday afternoon and bitch about so-and-so who’s doing us wrong. There’s no recourse is what I’m saying!”
Candace jumps in, “I see where you’re going with this girl! We have no power! I just wish there were a way to get back at the men who do us dirty. They wouldn’t know who it was or where it was coming from but things would just start happening to them.”
Tracy cuts her off, “Oooh yeah like their car gets keyed and tires slashed!”
Candace rolls her eyes, “No, not that ghetto shit Tracy! Anyone can do that! I’m talking about sophisticated, calculated revenge.”
Sol shakes her head, “I don’t like the sound of all of that. What’s the point?”
Shawn agrees, “That just seems like it’d be kind of desperate if women were running around trying to get revenge on all their exes. Just move on!”
“Says the happily married woman!” Tracy smirks. “We’re talking about all us other chicks that aren’t so happy!”
“But why would you want to punish a man because he doesn’t want to be with someone? That’s his prerogative.”
“You only say that because you managed to find the one good mad in all of L.A.! We haven’t all had the same kind of luck Shawn. They’ve either got a wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, crazy baby’s mamas, problems with drugs or an addiction to video games. That’s why I chase their money! Screw looking for the perfect guy, he doesn’t exist!”
“You can quit looking ladies, your perfect man has arrived!” Warren announces as he steps onto the patio with their food. “And I come bearing gifts!”
The women all laugh as Warren serves them their meals. After they’ve all been served they raise their glasses for a toast. “What are we toasting to today?” Shawn asks.
“To health!” Candace says cheerfully.
“Nope, wealth!” Tracy overrules.
Sol shakes her head, “How about to happiness?”
The four friends clink their glasses together, “To happiness!”
Tracy takes a heaping mouthful of macaroni and cheese, “Now let me at these carbs!”
Sol pulls her white Audi S4 into the parking lot and runs inside as quickly as her 4-inch pumps will allow. The Belvedere is a posh, European bistro located inside the Peninsula Hotel. Candace and Sol meet their friends Tracy and Shawn on the patio every Saturday for brunch and mimosas.
Sol walks out onto the veranda towards her friends. They are already seated at their favorite table that looks out onto Santa Monica Blvd. The ladies all look up and greet their late arrival.
“Hey girl!” Shawn greets her with a smile. They exchange cheek kisses.
“You’re never late, Sol. Are you okay?” Candace questions with a frown.
Sol smiles, she expected the inquisition from Candace. “I’ve got a story for you guys but first I need a latte!”
Tracy looks down at Sol’s feet, “Damn girl, I’m feelin’ those Louboutins! What size do you wear again?” Sol stops and does a quick model for Tracy before sitting.
“You aren’t coming anywhere near my new shoes Tracy! Don’t even think about it!” Sol laughs and looks around the table, “So how is everyone today?”
Tracy smiles, “I’m fine but the question is, how is Candace?” She swivels in her chair to face her friend. “Soooo, I hear you got quit Miss Candy!”
Candace’s mouth drops open, “Wow, thanks for the support! You’re lucky you’re one of my best friends because don’t nobody talk to me like that!” She playfully punches Tracy in the arm. “You think because you’ve known me since the third grade that you can talk to me any ole way?”
“Uh, yeah! We’re damn near family! I’m just mad I wasn’t the first person you called about Ron dumping you! I mean shit, thankfully Sol here can’t hold water or who knows when I woulda found out!”
Sol chimes in, “There’s no secrets here. She was going to tell you Tracy.”
Shawn looks confused, “Ron left you? Where have I been in all this?”
Tracy cuts in, “At home with your fine ass husband! Don’t worry Shawn I wouldn’t even know the president was black if I had all that man at home with me!” She takes a sip of her water and directs her attention back to Candace, “Now back to you keeping shit from me.”
Candace rolls her eyes. “I was not keeping things from you! I was going to tell you today, I just didn’t want you showing up at Ron’s house with your pistol! We all know how crazy your ass can be!”
“Don’t act like you know me bitch! I woulda brought my knife, it’s harder for those CSI’s to trace!”
The women were laughing so hard that they didn’t notice that their favorite server, Warren, was standing at their table. “Uh oh! The cackling is starting early today! How about a round of mimosa’s to keep the party going?”
They greet him in chorus, “Hey Warren!” The women loved having Warren as their waiter. He was funny and had a body better than any athlete they’d ever seen! He made terrific eye candy.
Candace grabs her menu and hands it to Warren, “I’ll take you up on that offer, sir!” She looks around the table, “You guys know I already know what I want.”
Shawn chuckles, “Yeah, yeah, crab crepes.” She studies her menu, “I’ll take that mimosa, Warren, but I’m going to need a few more minutes.”
“No problem Shawn.” Warren smiles, “You’re looking fantastic by the way!”
Shawn blushes, “Thanks.”
Tracy smacks Warren with her menu, “You better quit flirting with my friend before I tell your man!”
Warren laughs loudly, “Shut your mouth Tracy! If I had a man to tell he’d compliment her too! Do you know what you’d like to order?”
“I’m feelin’ good today so I think I’m going to get some of that famous mac n’ cheese!”
He writes her order on his pad and peeks at her. “Do I need to even ask you about the drink?” Tracy winks at him
Candace looks at Tracy, “You’re trying to spend all day on the treadmill tomorrow aren’t you?”
“Mind your business woman!”
Sol looks at Warren, “I’m going to need a few minutes too hun. I’m having an indecisive moment but I will take a latte.”
“Aww, no mimosa today?”
“Not after the night I had!”
“Okay, I’ll be back in a few for the rest of your orders!” Tracy admires Warren’s behind as he walks back into the restaurant.
Candace directs her attention towards Sol, “So, what happened last night?”
Sol puts her hand on her forehead and groans, “Oh my god I’ve never been so embarrassed in my whole life! So I’ve told you guys how Greg and his friends at work have this weird money competition thing going on right? Well one of them just bought a new house in Brentwood, it’s actually a few houses down from OJ Simpson’s house. Anyway, I went along even though I really wanted to stay home and talk to Greg about our future. Do you know that he’s never brought up the conversation of us getting engaged? And every time that I do he starts some sort of fight and I always end up apologizing!”
Tracy cuts her off, “What the hell are you apologizing for? For doing everything his ass wants? Are you kidding me Sol?”
“Let her finish Tracy.”
“Thanks Candace. He’s really good with arguments Tracy. He IS a lawyer! He has a way of turning the conversation around to make me feel like I’m wrong for even bringing it up!
“But back to last night, we get to the house and I run into Shelly. She’s the girlfriend of one of Greg’s friends. We kinda had a connection because she’s another long-time girlfriend, she’s been with Nick for four years! We’d sit around at these get-togethers and talk about our men and how they won’t commit. Well, I was looking forward to another conversation with her and she shows up with a ring on! Nick proposed to her the night before!”
Candace gasps, “Oh no, really?”
“I tried to be happy for her but inside I felt like crap! But here’s the worst part; one of the wives walks up to me and asks me where my husband was! I told her that Greg and I weren’t married and she was like ‘Oh I figured since you’ve been together so long that you two were married. My mistake! I guess not everyone’s as lucky as Shelly!’ Can you believe her?”
“That bitch!” Tracy spat. “She knew what she was doing! That was intentional! You need to bring me to the next one of these functions and point her ass out! What’d you do after she said that?”
“I burst into tears and ran into the bathroom! I didn’t know what else to do!”
Shawn tries to console her, “I’m sorry you had to go through that Sol.”
“What is it with men and commitment?” Candace wonders out loud. “What’s a woman gotta do to get a ring on her finger?”
Tracy looks at Sol, “What you need to do is get pregnant! Trap his ass! If he don’t marry you at least you’ll have a steady stream of income for the next eighteen years! It worked with Trevor, his dumb ass didn’t see me coming!”
Sol laughs, “Stop it Tracy! How’s your lil’ man doing anyway?”
“Bad as ever! You know what his behind did yest—’’ suddenly a car driving down Santa Monica stops in front of the restaurant loudly playing W.T.P. by Eminem. “Wait a minute, that’s my song!” Tracy throws her hands in the air and sings along,
“So let’s have us a lil bash
If anyone asks,
It ain’t no one but us trash,
You don’t know you betta ask somebody,
Cuz we’re having a White Trash Party!”
Candace stares at Tracy, shaking her head. “You have to be the ghettoist white chick that I’ve ever met! Why must you insist on acting a fool in public?”
Tracy laughs, “Oh shut up Inglewood! We grew up on the same street!”
“Yes but we don’t live there anymore! I’ve managed to evolve, wanna join me?”
“Negative!”
Warren returns with their drinks and takes Shawn and Sol’s orders. Shawn orders the ahi tuna and Sol decides on the risotto.
The women all sit back in their chairs enjoying the sunshine and atmosphere. “You know what?” Tracy blurts out. “I’m tired of men! They get to come and go as they want and treat women however they want!” Her friends shake their heads in agreement. “I mean, Ron could’ve been steppin’ out on you Candace, you ever think about that? And Greg may be gay Sol, you ever think about THAT?”
Sol chokes on her latte, “What? Why would you say that? That’s terrible!”
“I’m not saying that he IS gay, Sol! I’m just trying to make the point that we women are subjected to these problems with our men and we have no solutions. We just have to sit around on a Saturday afternoon and bitch about so-and-so who’s doing us wrong. There’s no recourse is what I’m saying!”
Candace jumps in, “I see where you’re going with this girl! We have no power! I just wish there were a way to get back at the men who do us dirty. They wouldn’t know who it was or where it was coming from but things would just start happening to them.”
Tracy cuts her off, “Oooh yeah like their car gets keyed and tires slashed!”
Candace rolls her eyes, “No, not that ghetto shit Tracy! Anyone can do that! I’m talking about sophisticated, calculated revenge.”
Sol shakes her head, “I don’t like the sound of all of that. What’s the point?”
Shawn agrees, “That just seems like it’d be kind of desperate if women were running around trying to get revenge on all their exes. Just move on!”
“Says the happily married woman!” Tracy smirks. “We’re talking about all us other chicks that aren’t so happy!”
“But why would you want to punish a man because he doesn’t want to be with someone? That’s his prerogative.”
“You only say that because you managed to find the one good mad in all of L.A.! We haven’t all had the same kind of luck Shawn. They’ve either got a wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, crazy baby’s mamas, problems with drugs or an addiction to video games. That’s why I chase their money! Screw looking for the perfect guy, he doesn’t exist!”
“You can quit looking ladies, your perfect man has arrived!” Warren announces as he steps onto the patio with their food. “And I come bearing gifts!”
The women all laugh as Warren serves them their meals. After they’ve all been served they raise their glasses for a toast. “What are we toasting to today?” Shawn asks.
“To health!” Candace says cheerfully.
“Nope, wealth!” Tracy overrules.
Sol shakes her head, “How about to happiness?”
The four friends clink their glasses together, “To happiness!”
Tracy takes a heaping mouthful of macaroni and cheese, “Now let me at these carbs!”
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