I feel like I have something great inside of me. Some great story to tell but I've been having problems coming up with it. And, believe me, it's not for lack of ideas. I come up with new ideas for stories in the shower, while driving and while at my desk at work but none of them have had that WOW factor and I think I've figured out why.
They've all been way too tame! I think I was trying to fit into some mold of what I believed was acceptable and I was neglecting what makes me a great story teller in the first place; my wild imagination! I think and dream about some of the most off the wall situations and characters yet when I write, those elements get toned down.
I haven't blogged in a while because I've been spending alot of my free time reading blogs of people who's writing, imagination and attitude I admire. Justine Musk, who writes my fav blog du jour, wrote "You have to be willing to "go there": dig deep into those personal places and write from the innermost points of your being." That's when it hit me! I'm writing solely to please others and I'm neglecting what makes me who I am! I may not have a character do or say something because I'm concerned about what someone like my mother might say about it. That's killing my creativity! I've been sitting on a few very controversial story ideas which involve things like abortion and religion for about a year because I was afraid of the backlash I may receive from people close to me. But now I've decided to move forward with those ideas and see how far I can take them. The only person that I know how to be is me, trying to be someone else is impossible.
I'm not sure when I lost my fondness for raising eyebrows because I remember having it at a young age. I vividly remember being in 10th grade biology and my teacher asking us to find an article in the newspaper and write a review of it. The only requirement was that it had to pertain to biology and we had to read it to the class in a week. On the day of our presentations, I sat and listened to boring transition to sleepy and end up in coma. I couldn't believe how boring it was to listen to the latest advancements in blah blah blah and how such and such was going to be the next big thing. Yawn... THEN, it was my turn. I stood in front of my peers and educated them, in immense detail, on the mating patterns and practices of chimpanzees at the San Diego zoo. My articled discussed, not only mating, but the soap opera-like drama that these animals had with their mates. I couldn't believe I was doing this! I was talking about sex in class, albeit animal sex, but sexual activity nonetheless and I had every ones attention. It was so exciting to see people perk up in their seats and hang onto my every word, including my teacher. It was then that I realized that I loved to step outside of other people's comfort zone and witness their reactions.
So, Buckle Up! I'm heading over a bridge and I'm burning it behind me!
"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go." T.S. Eliot
