I know I said that the only reason I wouldn't update Revenge in Stilettos was if I was hit by a car or had no internet access. Well, you'll be happy to learn that my internet and my health are all intact! But I do have a good reason for not adding a new volume. It's really good...
I LAUNCHED MY OWN WEBSITE!!! I'm officially official with my own domain name and everything! When you check it out you'll see samples of my diverse body of work as well a blog. I've got screenplays, short stories and this is where the Revenge in Stilettos saga will continue.
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Monday, August 16, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Revenge in Stilettos Vol. 3
Sol is running late. She wasn’t happy with Greg for keeping her out late last night knowing she was meeting her girlfriends at 11. She shakes her head as she recounts her disastrous night with Greg’s friends. The sooner she can get to the restaurant and share her drama the better. Her friends always have good advice.
Sol pulls her white Audi S4 into the parking lot and runs inside as quickly as her 4-inch pumps will allow. The Belvedere is a posh, European bistro located inside the Peninsula Hotel. Candace and Sol meet their friends Tracy and Shawn on the patio every Saturday for brunch and mimosas.
Sol walks out onto the veranda towards her friends. They are already seated at their favorite table that looks out onto Santa Monica Blvd. The ladies all look up and greet their late arrival.
“Hey girl!” Shawn greets her with a smile. They exchange cheek kisses.
“You’re never late, Sol. Are you okay?” Candace questions with a frown.
Sol smiles, she expected the inquisition from Candace. “I’ve got a story for you guys but first I need a latte!”
Tracy looks down at Sol’s feet, “Damn girl, I’m feelin’ those Louboutins! What size do you wear again?” Sol stops and does a quick model for Tracy before sitting.
“You aren’t coming anywhere near my new shoes Tracy! Don’t even think about it!” Sol laughs and looks around the table, “So how is everyone today?”
Tracy smiles, “I’m fine but the question is, how is Candace?” She swivels in her chair to face her friend. “Soooo, I hear you got quit Miss Candy!”
Candace’s mouth drops open, “Wow, thanks for the support! You’re lucky you’re one of my best friends because don’t nobody talk to me like that!” She playfully punches Tracy in the arm. “You think because you’ve known me since the third grade that you can talk to me any ole way?”
“Uh, yeah! We’re damn near family! I’m just mad I wasn’t the first person you called about Ron dumping you! I mean shit, thankfully Sol here can’t hold water or who knows when I woulda found out!”
Sol chimes in, “There’s no secrets here. She was going to tell you Tracy.”
Shawn looks confused, “Ron left you? Where have I been in all this?”
Tracy cuts in, “At home with your fine ass husband! Don’t worry Shawn I wouldn’t even know the president was black if I had all that man at home with me!” She takes a sip of her water and directs her attention back to Candace, “Now back to you keeping shit from me.”
Candace rolls her eyes. “I was not keeping things from you! I was going to tell you today, I just didn’t want you showing up at Ron’s house with your pistol! We all know how crazy your ass can be!”
“Don’t act like you know me bitch! I woulda brought my knife, it’s harder for those CSI’s to trace!”
The women were laughing so hard that they didn’t notice that their favorite server, Warren, was standing at their table. “Uh oh! The cackling is starting early today! How about a round of mimosa’s to keep the party going?”
They greet him in chorus, “Hey Warren!” The women loved having Warren as their waiter. He was funny and had a body better than any athlete they’d ever seen! He made terrific eye candy.
Candace grabs her menu and hands it to Warren, “I’ll take you up on that offer, sir!” She looks around the table, “You guys know I already know what I want.”
Shawn chuckles, “Yeah, yeah, crab crepes.” She studies her menu, “I’ll take that mimosa, Warren, but I’m going to need a few more minutes.”
“No problem Shawn.” Warren smiles, “You’re looking fantastic by the way!”
Shawn blushes, “Thanks.”
Tracy smacks Warren with her menu, “You better quit flirting with my friend before I tell your man!”
Warren laughs loudly, “Shut your mouth Tracy! If I had a man to tell he’d compliment her too! Do you know what you’d like to order?”
“I’m feelin’ good today so I think I’m going to get some of that famous mac n’ cheese!”
He writes her order on his pad and peeks at her. “Do I need to even ask you about the drink?” Tracy winks at him
Candace looks at Tracy, “You’re trying to spend all day on the treadmill tomorrow aren’t you?”
“Mind your business woman!”
Sol looks at Warren, “I’m going to need a few minutes too hun. I’m having an indecisive moment but I will take a latte.”
“Aww, no mimosa today?”
“Not after the night I had!”
“Okay, I’ll be back in a few for the rest of your orders!” Tracy admires Warren’s behind as he walks back into the restaurant.
Candace directs her attention towards Sol, “So, what happened last night?”
Sol puts her hand on her forehead and groans, “Oh my god I’ve never been so embarrassed in my whole life! So I’ve told you guys how Greg and his friends at work have this weird money competition thing going on right? Well one of them just bought a new house in Brentwood, it’s actually a few houses down from OJ Simpson’s house. Anyway, I went along even though I really wanted to stay home and talk to Greg about our future. Do you know that he’s never brought up the conversation of us getting engaged? And every time that I do he starts some sort of fight and I always end up apologizing!”
Tracy cuts her off, “What the hell are you apologizing for? For doing everything his ass wants? Are you kidding me Sol?”
“Let her finish Tracy.”
“Thanks Candace. He’s really good with arguments Tracy. He IS a lawyer! He has a way of turning the conversation around to make me feel like I’m wrong for even bringing it up!
“But back to last night, we get to the house and I run into Shelly. She’s the girlfriend of one of Greg’s friends. We kinda had a connection because she’s another long-time girlfriend, she’s been with Nick for four years! We’d sit around at these get-togethers and talk about our men and how they won’t commit. Well, I was looking forward to another conversation with her and she shows up with a ring on! Nick proposed to her the night before!”
Candace gasps, “Oh no, really?”
“I tried to be happy for her but inside I felt like crap! But here’s the worst part; one of the wives walks up to me and asks me where my husband was! I told her that Greg and I weren’t married and she was like ‘Oh I figured since you’ve been together so long that you two were married. My mistake! I guess not everyone’s as lucky as Shelly!’ Can you believe her?”
“That bitch!” Tracy spat. “She knew what she was doing! That was intentional! You need to bring me to the next one of these functions and point her ass out! What’d you do after she said that?”
“I burst into tears and ran into the bathroom! I didn’t know what else to do!”
Shawn tries to console her, “I’m sorry you had to go through that Sol.”
“What is it with men and commitment?” Candace wonders out loud. “What’s a woman gotta do to get a ring on her finger?”
Tracy looks at Sol, “What you need to do is get pregnant! Trap his ass! If he don’t marry you at least you’ll have a steady stream of income for the next eighteen years! It worked with Trevor, his dumb ass didn’t see me coming!”
Sol laughs, “Stop it Tracy! How’s your lil’ man doing anyway?”
“Bad as ever! You know what his behind did yest—’’ suddenly a car driving down Santa Monica stops in front of the restaurant loudly playing W.T.P. by Eminem. “Wait a minute, that’s my song!” Tracy throws her hands in the air and sings along,
“So let’s have us a lil bash
If anyone asks,
It ain’t no one but us trash,
You don’t know you betta ask somebody,
Cuz we’re having a White Trash Party!”
Candace stares at Tracy, shaking her head. “You have to be the ghettoist white chick that I’ve ever met! Why must you insist on acting a fool in public?”
Tracy laughs, “Oh shut up Inglewood! We grew up on the same street!”
“Yes but we don’t live there anymore! I’ve managed to evolve, wanna join me?”
“Negative!”
Warren returns with their drinks and takes Shawn and Sol’s orders. Shawn orders the ahi tuna and Sol decides on the risotto.
The women all sit back in their chairs enjoying the sunshine and atmosphere. “You know what?” Tracy blurts out. “I’m tired of men! They get to come and go as they want and treat women however they want!” Her friends shake their heads in agreement. “I mean, Ron could’ve been steppin’ out on you Candace, you ever think about that? And Greg may be gay Sol, you ever think about THAT?”
Sol chokes on her latte, “What? Why would you say that? That’s terrible!”
“I’m not saying that he IS gay, Sol! I’m just trying to make the point that we women are subjected to these problems with our men and we have no solutions. We just have to sit around on a Saturday afternoon and bitch about so-and-so who’s doing us wrong. There’s no recourse is what I’m saying!”
Candace jumps in, “I see where you’re going with this girl! We have no power! I just wish there were a way to get back at the men who do us dirty. They wouldn’t know who it was or where it was coming from but things would just start happening to them.”
Tracy cuts her off, “Oooh yeah like their car gets keyed and tires slashed!”
Candace rolls her eyes, “No, not that ghetto shit Tracy! Anyone can do that! I’m talking about sophisticated, calculated revenge.”
Sol shakes her head, “I don’t like the sound of all of that. What’s the point?”
Shawn agrees, “That just seems like it’d be kind of desperate if women were running around trying to get revenge on all their exes. Just move on!”
“Says the happily married woman!” Tracy smirks. “We’re talking about all us other chicks that aren’t so happy!”
“But why would you want to punish a man because he doesn’t want to be with someone? That’s his prerogative.”
“You only say that because you managed to find the one good mad in all of L.A.! We haven’t all had the same kind of luck Shawn. They’ve either got a wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, crazy baby’s mamas, problems with drugs or an addiction to video games. That’s why I chase their money! Screw looking for the perfect guy, he doesn’t exist!”
“You can quit looking ladies, your perfect man has arrived!” Warren announces as he steps onto the patio with their food. “And I come bearing gifts!”
The women all laugh as Warren serves them their meals. After they’ve all been served they raise their glasses for a toast. “What are we toasting to today?” Shawn asks.
“To health!” Candace says cheerfully.
“Nope, wealth!” Tracy overrules.
Sol shakes her head, “How about to happiness?”
The four friends clink their glasses together, “To happiness!”
Tracy takes a heaping mouthful of macaroni and cheese, “Now let me at these carbs!”
Sol pulls her white Audi S4 into the parking lot and runs inside as quickly as her 4-inch pumps will allow. The Belvedere is a posh, European bistro located inside the Peninsula Hotel. Candace and Sol meet their friends Tracy and Shawn on the patio every Saturday for brunch and mimosas.
Sol walks out onto the veranda towards her friends. They are already seated at their favorite table that looks out onto Santa Monica Blvd. The ladies all look up and greet their late arrival.
“Hey girl!” Shawn greets her with a smile. They exchange cheek kisses.
“You’re never late, Sol. Are you okay?” Candace questions with a frown.
Sol smiles, she expected the inquisition from Candace. “I’ve got a story for you guys but first I need a latte!”
Tracy looks down at Sol’s feet, “Damn girl, I’m feelin’ those Louboutins! What size do you wear again?” Sol stops and does a quick model for Tracy before sitting.
“You aren’t coming anywhere near my new shoes Tracy! Don’t even think about it!” Sol laughs and looks around the table, “So how is everyone today?”
Tracy smiles, “I’m fine but the question is, how is Candace?” She swivels in her chair to face her friend. “Soooo, I hear you got quit Miss Candy!”
Candace’s mouth drops open, “Wow, thanks for the support! You’re lucky you’re one of my best friends because don’t nobody talk to me like that!” She playfully punches Tracy in the arm. “You think because you’ve known me since the third grade that you can talk to me any ole way?”
“Uh, yeah! We’re damn near family! I’m just mad I wasn’t the first person you called about Ron dumping you! I mean shit, thankfully Sol here can’t hold water or who knows when I woulda found out!”
Sol chimes in, “There’s no secrets here. She was going to tell you Tracy.”
Shawn looks confused, “Ron left you? Where have I been in all this?”
Tracy cuts in, “At home with your fine ass husband! Don’t worry Shawn I wouldn’t even know the president was black if I had all that man at home with me!” She takes a sip of her water and directs her attention back to Candace, “Now back to you keeping shit from me.”
Candace rolls her eyes. “I was not keeping things from you! I was going to tell you today, I just didn’t want you showing up at Ron’s house with your pistol! We all know how crazy your ass can be!”
“Don’t act like you know me bitch! I woulda brought my knife, it’s harder for those CSI’s to trace!”
The women were laughing so hard that they didn’t notice that their favorite server, Warren, was standing at their table. “Uh oh! The cackling is starting early today! How about a round of mimosa’s to keep the party going?”
They greet him in chorus, “Hey Warren!” The women loved having Warren as their waiter. He was funny and had a body better than any athlete they’d ever seen! He made terrific eye candy.
Candace grabs her menu and hands it to Warren, “I’ll take you up on that offer, sir!” She looks around the table, “You guys know I already know what I want.”
Shawn chuckles, “Yeah, yeah, crab crepes.” She studies her menu, “I’ll take that mimosa, Warren, but I’m going to need a few more minutes.”
“No problem Shawn.” Warren smiles, “You’re looking fantastic by the way!”
Shawn blushes, “Thanks.”
Tracy smacks Warren with her menu, “You better quit flirting with my friend before I tell your man!”
Warren laughs loudly, “Shut your mouth Tracy! If I had a man to tell he’d compliment her too! Do you know what you’d like to order?”
“I’m feelin’ good today so I think I’m going to get some of that famous mac n’ cheese!”
He writes her order on his pad and peeks at her. “Do I need to even ask you about the drink?” Tracy winks at him
Candace looks at Tracy, “You’re trying to spend all day on the treadmill tomorrow aren’t you?”
“Mind your business woman!”
Sol looks at Warren, “I’m going to need a few minutes too hun. I’m having an indecisive moment but I will take a latte.”
“Aww, no mimosa today?”
“Not after the night I had!”
“Okay, I’ll be back in a few for the rest of your orders!” Tracy admires Warren’s behind as he walks back into the restaurant.
Candace directs her attention towards Sol, “So, what happened last night?”
Sol puts her hand on her forehead and groans, “Oh my god I’ve never been so embarrassed in my whole life! So I’ve told you guys how Greg and his friends at work have this weird money competition thing going on right? Well one of them just bought a new house in Brentwood, it’s actually a few houses down from OJ Simpson’s house. Anyway, I went along even though I really wanted to stay home and talk to Greg about our future. Do you know that he’s never brought up the conversation of us getting engaged? And every time that I do he starts some sort of fight and I always end up apologizing!”
Tracy cuts her off, “What the hell are you apologizing for? For doing everything his ass wants? Are you kidding me Sol?”
“Let her finish Tracy.”
“Thanks Candace. He’s really good with arguments Tracy. He IS a lawyer! He has a way of turning the conversation around to make me feel like I’m wrong for even bringing it up!
“But back to last night, we get to the house and I run into Shelly. She’s the girlfriend of one of Greg’s friends. We kinda had a connection because she’s another long-time girlfriend, she’s been with Nick for four years! We’d sit around at these get-togethers and talk about our men and how they won’t commit. Well, I was looking forward to another conversation with her and she shows up with a ring on! Nick proposed to her the night before!”
Candace gasps, “Oh no, really?”
“I tried to be happy for her but inside I felt like crap! But here’s the worst part; one of the wives walks up to me and asks me where my husband was! I told her that Greg and I weren’t married and she was like ‘Oh I figured since you’ve been together so long that you two were married. My mistake! I guess not everyone’s as lucky as Shelly!’ Can you believe her?”
“That bitch!” Tracy spat. “She knew what she was doing! That was intentional! You need to bring me to the next one of these functions and point her ass out! What’d you do after she said that?”
“I burst into tears and ran into the bathroom! I didn’t know what else to do!”
Shawn tries to console her, “I’m sorry you had to go through that Sol.”
“What is it with men and commitment?” Candace wonders out loud. “What’s a woman gotta do to get a ring on her finger?”
Tracy looks at Sol, “What you need to do is get pregnant! Trap his ass! If he don’t marry you at least you’ll have a steady stream of income for the next eighteen years! It worked with Trevor, his dumb ass didn’t see me coming!”
Sol laughs, “Stop it Tracy! How’s your lil’ man doing anyway?”
“Bad as ever! You know what his behind did yest—’’ suddenly a car driving down Santa Monica stops in front of the restaurant loudly playing W.T.P. by Eminem. “Wait a minute, that’s my song!” Tracy throws her hands in the air and sings along,
“So let’s have us a lil bash
If anyone asks,
It ain’t no one but us trash,
You don’t know you betta ask somebody,
Cuz we’re having a White Trash Party!”
Candace stares at Tracy, shaking her head. “You have to be the ghettoist white chick that I’ve ever met! Why must you insist on acting a fool in public?”
Tracy laughs, “Oh shut up Inglewood! We grew up on the same street!”
“Yes but we don’t live there anymore! I’ve managed to evolve, wanna join me?”
“Negative!”
Warren returns with their drinks and takes Shawn and Sol’s orders. Shawn orders the ahi tuna and Sol decides on the risotto.
The women all sit back in their chairs enjoying the sunshine and atmosphere. “You know what?” Tracy blurts out. “I’m tired of men! They get to come and go as they want and treat women however they want!” Her friends shake their heads in agreement. “I mean, Ron could’ve been steppin’ out on you Candace, you ever think about that? And Greg may be gay Sol, you ever think about THAT?”
Sol chokes on her latte, “What? Why would you say that? That’s terrible!”
“I’m not saying that he IS gay, Sol! I’m just trying to make the point that we women are subjected to these problems with our men and we have no solutions. We just have to sit around on a Saturday afternoon and bitch about so-and-so who’s doing us wrong. There’s no recourse is what I’m saying!”
Candace jumps in, “I see where you’re going with this girl! We have no power! I just wish there were a way to get back at the men who do us dirty. They wouldn’t know who it was or where it was coming from but things would just start happening to them.”
Tracy cuts her off, “Oooh yeah like their car gets keyed and tires slashed!”
Candace rolls her eyes, “No, not that ghetto shit Tracy! Anyone can do that! I’m talking about sophisticated, calculated revenge.”
Sol shakes her head, “I don’t like the sound of all of that. What’s the point?”
Shawn agrees, “That just seems like it’d be kind of desperate if women were running around trying to get revenge on all their exes. Just move on!”
“Says the happily married woman!” Tracy smirks. “We’re talking about all us other chicks that aren’t so happy!”
“But why would you want to punish a man because he doesn’t want to be with someone? That’s his prerogative.”
“You only say that because you managed to find the one good mad in all of L.A.! We haven’t all had the same kind of luck Shawn. They’ve either got a wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, crazy baby’s mamas, problems with drugs or an addiction to video games. That’s why I chase their money! Screw looking for the perfect guy, he doesn’t exist!”
“You can quit looking ladies, your perfect man has arrived!” Warren announces as he steps onto the patio with their food. “And I come bearing gifts!”
The women all laugh as Warren serves them their meals. After they’ve all been served they raise their glasses for a toast. “What are we toasting to today?” Shawn asks.
“To health!” Candace says cheerfully.
“Nope, wealth!” Tracy overrules.
Sol shakes her head, “How about to happiness?”
The four friends clink their glasses together, “To happiness!”
Tracy takes a heaping mouthful of macaroni and cheese, “Now let me at these carbs!”
Monday, August 2, 2010
Revenge in Stilettos Volume Two
“Then this asshole walks out of the restaurant and leaves me, ALONE, in the most visible table in the house!” Candace screams into her phone. Sol Mendoza sits on the edge of her bed listening to one of her closest friends retell how her boyfriend embarrassed her the night before.
“Did you leave, Candace? I don’t think I could’ve stayed there and ate alone!” The thought of sitting alone at a high profile restaurant made Sol’s palms sweat.
“Girl, please,” Candace laughs. “I had been waiting to eat at Sake Fire for months and I wasn’t going to let some jerk ruin that for me! The food was fantastic too!”
Sol admired her friend’s strength but wondered if she may have been a little too forceful with Ron. She knew from her own relationship that men didn’t like feeling forced into things or told what to do. “Good for you, my friend! So what now?”
Candace shrugs, “I’m going to keep pushing along with my plan! Marriage by 30, kids by 32 and I plan to make partner no later than 35. I’m cutting it kinda close with this little set back but you know me, I gets what I wants!” They share a thunderous laugh.
Sol’s boyfriend Greg walks into their bedroom and rolls his eyes. He can tell by the way she’s laughing that Sol’s chatting with one of her girlfriends.
Sol looks up and smiles at Greg. “Hey honey, I’m going to go now. I’ll see you tomorrow at lunch, okay? Bye!” She hangs up smiling until she looks at Greg. Her smile disappears instantly. “What’s wrong?”
“Who were you talking to?” Greg asks accusingly.
“That was Candace, babe. Ron walked out on her yesterday and she was confiding in me. I can’t believe that happened!”
Greg laughs loudly, “I can! I just can’t believe that it took him so long!”
Sol looked hurt, “Why do you hate my friends so much?”
“I don’t hate them all, Sol, just Candace and Tracy.”
“So you hate MOST of my friends! What’s so wrong with them?”
Greg sighs, exacerbated. “We’ve had this conversation before. I just don’t think that you have much in common with them. I approve of Shawn as a friend more than those two!”
“I don’t understand why you can’t like my friends just because they are my friends. We enjoy each other’s company and I’ve known them almost half my life! Am I supposed to just drop them when they’ve never hurt me or given me a reason?”
Greg crosses the room to embrace Sol. “I never mean to upset you with this conversation but I just think you and Shawn are headed in the same direction. You two have settled down with men that love you and you don’t need to go out every weekend in search of a man. And above that, I just don’t like them!”
Sol pushes back from him, offended, “How can you say that? You barely say two words to them when they come over and you’re very antisocial at group functions! You don’t even know them and, if anything, they shouldn’t like you.”
“I don’t think I’d lose sleep over that Sol,” Greg chuckles. “I mean, Tracy is THE most annoying person I’ve ever met in my life! And Candace needs to let go of that “angry black woman” thing if she ever plans on finding a man!”
Sol looks shocked, “Can you even say that? You’re white!”
“Oh so that makes me a racist now?”
“No I know you’re not a racist, obviously, but maybe you shouldn’t get in the habit of calling black people angry.”
Greg shrugs, “Whatever, I’m not wrong.”
Sol sighs and walks into the bathroom. She was in the middle of styling her hair when Candace called. She stands in front of the mirror removing hot rollers and fluffing her hair.
Sol was a Cuban-American beauty with long, dark hair and a body that made men stop in their tracks. Her friend Tracy was always trying to convince her to “rock” her body more but Sol wasn’t quite sure what that meant. She thought it meant that she wanted her to show more skin but that wasn’t going to happen! Her ultra-Catholic parents would kill her! It was bad enough that she was living with a man that wasn’t her husband. Sol’s mother probably lit every candle in the city daily in prayer for her daughter’s sins!
She inspects her appearance in the mirror. Greg’s coworker was throwing a get-together to christen his new house in Brentwood and she was accompanying him. Sol had no desire to attend this “dick swinging” competition between Greg and his friends but he always expected her to attend and she never disappointed him. She knew she was tagging along as eye candy and she tried to be as attractive as possible for him.
Sol was having a hard time concentrating on her makeup. She kept replaying Greg’s words: You two have settled down with men that love you. She found it interesting that he used those words. Shawn was married to a man that loved her and Sol was shacking up. It wasn’t the same thing in her eyes.
Greg knocks on the bathroom door, “You almost ready babe? I’d like to leave in five.”
Sol opens the door. Greg has changed into a pair of jeans and a button-up dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. She admires how attractive he manages to look when dressed so casually. Her father doesn’t understand what she sees in this blonde-haired, green-eyed man but Greg is the love of her life and she plans to spend her life with him.
“I’m ready.”
“Great! Let’s go!” Greg turns and walks towards the door and suddenly stops and looks at Sol. “You look great, by the way!”
“Thanks babe!”
The couple gets into Greg’s BMW Z4 convertible and head towards Brentwood. Sol silently hopes that the night goes quickly, she’s not in the mood for schmoozing tonight.
Although Sol wants to confront Greg about their future, they drive in silence. She wants to ask why they weren’t so much as engaged after five years. Why he stresses how much he loves her yet runs from the discussion of marriage like the plague. Was she being a fool? Was she wasting her life on someone who wouldn’t ever totally commit? What was wrong with her that he wouldn’t marry her? Did she not make him happy?
“Hey Greg?” Sol blurts out, almost without thinking.
“What’s up babe?”
Sol stares at the side of his face yet can’t manage to say a word. Say something idiot!
“I, um… I was wondering if Shelly was going to be there tonight.” She wanted to slap herself for being such a coward!
“You know, I’m not sure. Nick is coming so she should be with him.”
“Oh okay. I hope so, it’s been a while since I’ve seen her.” Sol turns away from Greg and lightly bangs her forehead on her window. Tomorrow, she thinks, I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow. She reaches over and rests her hand on his leg. “I love you.”
Greg looks at her and smiles, “I love you too babe.”
“Did you leave, Candace? I don’t think I could’ve stayed there and ate alone!” The thought of sitting alone at a high profile restaurant made Sol’s palms sweat.
“Girl, please,” Candace laughs. “I had been waiting to eat at Sake Fire for months and I wasn’t going to let some jerk ruin that for me! The food was fantastic too!”
Sol admired her friend’s strength but wondered if she may have been a little too forceful with Ron. She knew from her own relationship that men didn’t like feeling forced into things or told what to do. “Good for you, my friend! So what now?”
Candace shrugs, “I’m going to keep pushing along with my plan! Marriage by 30, kids by 32 and I plan to make partner no later than 35. I’m cutting it kinda close with this little set back but you know me, I gets what I wants!” They share a thunderous laugh.
Sol’s boyfriend Greg walks into their bedroom and rolls his eyes. He can tell by the way she’s laughing that Sol’s chatting with one of her girlfriends.
Sol looks up and smiles at Greg. “Hey honey, I’m going to go now. I’ll see you tomorrow at lunch, okay? Bye!” She hangs up smiling until she looks at Greg. Her smile disappears instantly. “What’s wrong?”
“Who were you talking to?” Greg asks accusingly.
“That was Candace, babe. Ron walked out on her yesterday and she was confiding in me. I can’t believe that happened!”
Greg laughs loudly, “I can! I just can’t believe that it took him so long!”
Sol looked hurt, “Why do you hate my friends so much?”
“I don’t hate them all, Sol, just Candace and Tracy.”
“So you hate MOST of my friends! What’s so wrong with them?”
Greg sighs, exacerbated. “We’ve had this conversation before. I just don’t think that you have much in common with them. I approve of Shawn as a friend more than those two!”
“I don’t understand why you can’t like my friends just because they are my friends. We enjoy each other’s company and I’ve known them almost half my life! Am I supposed to just drop them when they’ve never hurt me or given me a reason?”
Greg crosses the room to embrace Sol. “I never mean to upset you with this conversation but I just think you and Shawn are headed in the same direction. You two have settled down with men that love you and you don’t need to go out every weekend in search of a man. And above that, I just don’t like them!”
Sol pushes back from him, offended, “How can you say that? You barely say two words to them when they come over and you’re very antisocial at group functions! You don’t even know them and, if anything, they shouldn’t like you.”
“I don’t think I’d lose sleep over that Sol,” Greg chuckles. “I mean, Tracy is THE most annoying person I’ve ever met in my life! And Candace needs to let go of that “angry black woman” thing if she ever plans on finding a man!”
Sol looks shocked, “Can you even say that? You’re white!”
“Oh so that makes me a racist now?”
“No I know you’re not a racist, obviously, but maybe you shouldn’t get in the habit of calling black people angry.”
Greg shrugs, “Whatever, I’m not wrong.”
Sol sighs and walks into the bathroom. She was in the middle of styling her hair when Candace called. She stands in front of the mirror removing hot rollers and fluffing her hair.
Sol was a Cuban-American beauty with long, dark hair and a body that made men stop in their tracks. Her friend Tracy was always trying to convince her to “rock” her body more but Sol wasn’t quite sure what that meant. She thought it meant that she wanted her to show more skin but that wasn’t going to happen! Her ultra-Catholic parents would kill her! It was bad enough that she was living with a man that wasn’t her husband. Sol’s mother probably lit every candle in the city daily in prayer for her daughter’s sins!
She inspects her appearance in the mirror. Greg’s coworker was throwing a get-together to christen his new house in Brentwood and she was accompanying him. Sol had no desire to attend this “dick swinging” competition between Greg and his friends but he always expected her to attend and she never disappointed him. She knew she was tagging along as eye candy and she tried to be as attractive as possible for him.
Sol was having a hard time concentrating on her makeup. She kept replaying Greg’s words: You two have settled down with men that love you. She found it interesting that he used those words. Shawn was married to a man that loved her and Sol was shacking up. It wasn’t the same thing in her eyes.
Greg knocks on the bathroom door, “You almost ready babe? I’d like to leave in five.”
Sol opens the door. Greg has changed into a pair of jeans and a button-up dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. She admires how attractive he manages to look when dressed so casually. Her father doesn’t understand what she sees in this blonde-haired, green-eyed man but Greg is the love of her life and she plans to spend her life with him.
“I’m ready.”
“Great! Let’s go!” Greg turns and walks towards the door and suddenly stops and looks at Sol. “You look great, by the way!”
“Thanks babe!”
The couple gets into Greg’s BMW Z4 convertible and head towards Brentwood. Sol silently hopes that the night goes quickly, she’s not in the mood for schmoozing tonight.
Although Sol wants to confront Greg about their future, they drive in silence. She wants to ask why they weren’t so much as engaged after five years. Why he stresses how much he loves her yet runs from the discussion of marriage like the plague. Was she being a fool? Was she wasting her life on someone who wouldn’t ever totally commit? What was wrong with her that he wouldn’t marry her? Did she not make him happy?
“Hey Greg?” Sol blurts out, almost without thinking.
“What’s up babe?”
Sol stares at the side of his face yet can’t manage to say a word. Say something idiot!
“I, um… I was wondering if Shelly was going to be there tonight.” She wanted to slap herself for being such a coward!
“You know, I’m not sure. Nick is coming so she should be with him.”
“Oh okay. I hope so, it’s been a while since I’ve seen her.” Sol turns away from Greg and lightly bangs her forehead on her window. Tomorrow, she thinks, I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow. She reaches over and rests her hand on his leg. “I love you.”
Greg looks at her and smiles, “I love you too babe.”
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Revenge in Stilettos Vol. 1
I got an idea for a story the other day and I couldn't get it out of my head. Soooo... I decided to write it out. And after mulling it over in my head for a while I realized that it would be best suited for a series type of thing. I figured that since there's so much potential within this idea that it wouldn't be fair to get it over with in one shot. Besides, where's the fun in that?
My goal is to add a new volume to the story every week. But since I'm such a rebel (insert chuckle here), I may add more than one per week if I'm on a roll or I may skip a week. I'll really try not to do the latter, I promise!
Feedback would be greatly appreciated. I want to hear what you think about the characters and the situations that they find themselves in. Can you relate? Do you think so-n-so is out of their mind? Do you like what I've got going on? Do you (deep breath) dislike what I'm doing and wonder if I'm sane? It's all welcomed and received!
Alright, here it goes! Revenge in Stilettos Volume One:
Candace Jacobs waits, fairly impatiently, for her boyfriend Ron to arrive. They have 8 o'clock reservations at an exclusive new sushi restaurant in Westwood and he was running late, again.
She had spent hours rummaging through her closet in search of the perfect outfit for tonight. This was going to be a special evening. She stands in front of her floor-length mirror and inspects herself.
Candace is a beautiful, mocha-brown skinned woman with sparkling brown eyes and short, well-manicured hair. After much debate, she finally decides on a bronze-colored halter dress that broadcasts every foot of the four miles per day that she runs to keep everything in place.
Candace looks at the small digital clock on her nightstand for what seems like the thirtieth time. 7:32 glares out at her in harsh red numbers, taunting her.
Candace picks up her cell phone and stares at it. She didn’t want to seem like a nag, she had already text Ron twice. “Screw it!” She said as she dials his number, “I made these reservations two months ago!”
The phone rings four times before Ron finally picks up. “Hello?”
“Ronald? Where are you?”
“Hey, wassup Candy Cane?”
Candace winces at Ron’s insistence on using that stupid nickname. Couldn’t he call her Candace like she’d asked time after time?
“Um, where are you?” She asks again, “If we’re not at the restaurant in twenty minutes they’ll give away our table. You know I’ve been waiting a long time to go to Sake Fire!”
“Yeah, I’m just running a little late.” Ron takes a deep breath, “You know I’m not really into sushi. Shit, Asian food altogether!”
Candace rolls her eyes. He can be so selfish! “I’ve already told you that they’ve got steak and rice on the menu, things you eat everyday.”
“I just don’t know why you couldn’t take one of your girls or something. Every time I turn around y’all are eating something wrapped in seaweed!”
She is on the verge of losing her patience now. “Dammit Ronald! Are you coming or not? It’s too late to call one of my girlfriends and I wanted to spend this evening with you anyway! I mean shit, you wait until twenty minutes before our reservation to pull---“
Ron cuts her off, “I said I was coming! I was just asking you a question. I’m around the corner.”
Candace smiles and hangs up the phone. She runs into the bathroom to touch up her makeup and check her dress. “That was pretty selfish of him. I’ve made it perfectly clear how special I want this night to be!” She decides to shake it off. He’s still coming after all and they can still make it on time.
Ron pulls up in front of Candice’s townhouse and honks twice. She runs out the door and into his black Chevy Tahoe. Candace leans over and pecks him on the cheek while simultaneously lowering the volume on the radio.
“I really wish you wouldn’t honk. This is a quiet neighborhood and I don’t need people in my business.”
Ron speeds away without looking at her, “We’re in a hurry right?”
As they drive, Candace admires Ron’s strong appearance. His long, lean frame coupled with his caramel complexion would make a beautiful child. She senses tension between them but credits it to Ron’s embarrassment for making her wait. She proceeds to ramble on about her day at work until they reach the restaurant.
The building is packed with patrons and there are many unhappy-looking people milled outside. “They obviously didn’t make a reservation,” Candace whispers triumphantly to Ron. He rolls his eyes and glances, longingly, towards an IN-N-OUT burger joint across the street.
A very petite Japanese woman holding a clipboard greets them just inside the door. Candace admires the woman’s long, dark hair. It hangs almost to her waist! “Welcome to Sake Fire! Are you on our guest list?”
Candace chimes, “Yes! Jacobs, party of two.” The woman checks her clipboard, smiles and leads them inside the establishment.
Sake Fire is flawless! The décor made Candice forget that she just stepped out of a Los Angeles parking lot. She felt as though she was IN Japan! The music was authentic but not intrusive and every employee’s presentation was immaculate. Candace felt pleased with herself for deciding on this location to surprise Ronald.
They are led to the back of the restaurant. Their table was a small two-seater next to an enormous fish tank housing the most colorful and exotic fish that either of them had ever seen! Candace couldn’t avoid beaming. They had the best table in the house!
“Here are your menus. Your personal server will be with you very shortly. Enjoy your experience.” The dainty woman then turns and weaves her way through the tables back towards the entrance.
Candace instantly begins talking. “Isn’t this place amazing? I’m so glad we were able to get here in time! Close call though huh?”
Ron’s attention shifts from her to the massive fish tank. There were many vibrant-colored fish in the tank but the one that wasn’t colorful caught his attention. What was it called? Oh yeah, a puffer fish! Ron had never seen one in real life before. He’d watched the movie Finding Nemo with his nephew once before and remembered that they blew up like a balloon. He wondered if he could get it to puff up. Maybe if he tapped on the ---
“Ronald?”
The sound of his name snapped Ron out of his puffer fish infatuation. He looked at Candace but didn’t answer.
“Did you hear anything I just said?” Ron frowns, trying to remember something she had said. Candace forces a smiles, “I’ve been trying to make tonight special because I have something for you.” She gestures towards a black, velvet ring box she’s placed in front of him. He hadn’t realized that there was anything there.
“What’s this?”
“A surprise. If you had been listening to me the last five minutes you would have heard me say how much of a good team I think that we make. I’ve just been promoted and with that big contract you’ve just landed, we’re prime candidates for marriage and children.”
Rob chokes, “Whoa, whoa! What?”
“Please let me finish Ronald.” She’s got his full attention now. “I have no desire to have a fall or winter wedding. Everyone knows that summer is the best time of year for that sort of thing so I figured that we could take the next logical step while we wait.” Candace grins and sits back in her chair looking as if she just cured cancer.
Rob stares at her with his mouth open. “What was that? Did you just propose to me? What the hell was that Candace?”
Okay NOW he uses my real name, Candace thinks. “Will you please just open the box?”
Ron picks up the box and looks at it intently. This didn’t seem right. Wasn’t a man supposed to propose to a woman, when he was ready? This is too much!
“Hi! I’m Kelly and I’ll be you server today. May I interest you two in our specialty Sake Bombs before I take your order?” Ron was relieved for the break from Candace’s impatient glare.
Candace directs her attention towards the waitress. “You know Kelly, I’d love one of those Sake Bombs. Also a glass of water with a splash of lemon juice, but not the piece of lemon in it, okay?”
“Sure! And for you sir?”
“Yeah, Sake’s fine.”
“Wonderful, I’ll be back to take your order in a few, unless you’re ready now?”
“No thanks, we’ll need more time.” Candace answered.
“Okay I’ll be back shortly.”
Ron watches Kelly walk away. He slowly returns his eyes to Candace’s and is met with an annoyed stare. “What were we talking about?”
“You’re kidding me right?” Candace takes a deep, cleansing breath, “You were about to open that box and give me an answer, Ronald!”
Ron takes his own deep breath and looks Candice directly in her eyes, “I hate it when you call me Ronald. I told you my mom is the only person who uses that name and I like it that way.”
She cuts in, “I hate nicknames. You’re a professional man and you should use a professional name.”
“Don’t interrupt me.”
Candace opens her mouth to respond then decides against it. Ron twirls the box around in his hands but does not open it. “I gotta be honest with you. I’m not interested in what’s in this box after that lil speech you just gave. I have no plans of getting married or having kids any time soon and I’ve explained that to you numerous times. And the fact that you would make the decision to go ahead and decide to do whatever this is anyway confirms what I’ve been feeling for weeks.”
Ron stands and walks to Candace’s side. He places the box in front of her on the table. “I can’t do this anymore Candace. I hope you get what you’re looking for.” Without another word, he walks away and Candace is left alone wondering what just happened.
“Oh I see we lost someone,” Candace was startled by Kelly’s return. “Is your friend in the restroom? Would you like to wait to order?”
“No Kelly, it looks like it’s just going to be me.” She opens her menu and does a quick scan. “I’ll start with the Kani Salad, Salmon Sashimi and two orders of Shrimp Tempura.” She folds her menu and hands it to the server. “Oh and Kelly? Keep these Sake Bombs coming.”
Candace downs drink #1 and turns her attention to the ring box Ron had returned to her unopened.
“Asshole.” She opens the box to reveal a singular key on a key chain reading HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS.
Her intentions were to ease him into an engagement by inviting him to live with her. She had plenty of space and her Sherman Oaks zip code was much more appealing than that shit hole he paid too much rent for in Reseda!
Candace reaches across the table and downs Ron’s Sake Bomb in one gulp. She notices all of the happy couples seated all around her and suddenly feels very self-conscious at Ron’s absence.
Instantly, she realizes that she didn’t drive there, “Shit! How am I getting home?”
My goal is to add a new volume to the story every week. But since I'm such a rebel (insert chuckle here), I may add more than one per week if I'm on a roll or I may skip a week. I'll really try not to do the latter, I promise!
Feedback would be greatly appreciated. I want to hear what you think about the characters and the situations that they find themselves in. Can you relate? Do you think so-n-so is out of their mind? Do you like what I've got going on? Do you (deep breath) dislike what I'm doing and wonder if I'm sane? It's all welcomed and received!
Alright, here it goes! Revenge in Stilettos Volume One:
Candace Jacobs waits, fairly impatiently, for her boyfriend Ron to arrive. They have 8 o'clock reservations at an exclusive new sushi restaurant in Westwood and he was running late, again.
She had spent hours rummaging through her closet in search of the perfect outfit for tonight. This was going to be a special evening. She stands in front of her floor-length mirror and inspects herself.
Candace is a beautiful, mocha-brown skinned woman with sparkling brown eyes and short, well-manicured hair. After much debate, she finally decides on a bronze-colored halter dress that broadcasts every foot of the four miles per day that she runs to keep everything in place.
Candace looks at the small digital clock on her nightstand for what seems like the thirtieth time. 7:32 glares out at her in harsh red numbers, taunting her.
Candace picks up her cell phone and stares at it. She didn’t want to seem like a nag, she had already text Ron twice. “Screw it!” She said as she dials his number, “I made these reservations two months ago!”
The phone rings four times before Ron finally picks up. “Hello?”
“Ronald? Where are you?”
“Hey, wassup Candy Cane?”
Candace winces at Ron’s insistence on using that stupid nickname. Couldn’t he call her Candace like she’d asked time after time?
“Um, where are you?” She asks again, “If we’re not at the restaurant in twenty minutes they’ll give away our table. You know I’ve been waiting a long time to go to Sake Fire!”
“Yeah, I’m just running a little late.” Ron takes a deep breath, “You know I’m not really into sushi. Shit, Asian food altogether!”
Candace rolls her eyes. He can be so selfish! “I’ve already told you that they’ve got steak and rice on the menu, things you eat everyday.”
“I just don’t know why you couldn’t take one of your girls or something. Every time I turn around y’all are eating something wrapped in seaweed!”
She is on the verge of losing her patience now. “Dammit Ronald! Are you coming or not? It’s too late to call one of my girlfriends and I wanted to spend this evening with you anyway! I mean shit, you wait until twenty minutes before our reservation to pull---“
Ron cuts her off, “I said I was coming! I was just asking you a question. I’m around the corner.”
Candace smiles and hangs up the phone. She runs into the bathroom to touch up her makeup and check her dress. “That was pretty selfish of him. I’ve made it perfectly clear how special I want this night to be!” She decides to shake it off. He’s still coming after all and they can still make it on time.
Ron pulls up in front of Candice’s townhouse and honks twice. She runs out the door and into his black Chevy Tahoe. Candace leans over and pecks him on the cheek while simultaneously lowering the volume on the radio.
“I really wish you wouldn’t honk. This is a quiet neighborhood and I don’t need people in my business.”
Ron speeds away without looking at her, “We’re in a hurry right?”
As they drive, Candace admires Ron’s strong appearance. His long, lean frame coupled with his caramel complexion would make a beautiful child. She senses tension between them but credits it to Ron’s embarrassment for making her wait. She proceeds to ramble on about her day at work until they reach the restaurant.
The building is packed with patrons and there are many unhappy-looking people milled outside. “They obviously didn’t make a reservation,” Candace whispers triumphantly to Ron. He rolls his eyes and glances, longingly, towards an IN-N-OUT burger joint across the street.
A very petite Japanese woman holding a clipboard greets them just inside the door. Candace admires the woman’s long, dark hair. It hangs almost to her waist! “Welcome to Sake Fire! Are you on our guest list?”
Candace chimes, “Yes! Jacobs, party of two.” The woman checks her clipboard, smiles and leads them inside the establishment.
Sake Fire is flawless! The décor made Candice forget that she just stepped out of a Los Angeles parking lot. She felt as though she was IN Japan! The music was authentic but not intrusive and every employee’s presentation was immaculate. Candace felt pleased with herself for deciding on this location to surprise Ronald.
They are led to the back of the restaurant. Their table was a small two-seater next to an enormous fish tank housing the most colorful and exotic fish that either of them had ever seen! Candace couldn’t avoid beaming. They had the best table in the house!
“Here are your menus. Your personal server will be with you very shortly. Enjoy your experience.” The dainty woman then turns and weaves her way through the tables back towards the entrance.
Candace instantly begins talking. “Isn’t this place amazing? I’m so glad we were able to get here in time! Close call though huh?”
Ron’s attention shifts from her to the massive fish tank. There were many vibrant-colored fish in the tank but the one that wasn’t colorful caught his attention. What was it called? Oh yeah, a puffer fish! Ron had never seen one in real life before. He’d watched the movie Finding Nemo with his nephew once before and remembered that they blew up like a balloon. He wondered if he could get it to puff up. Maybe if he tapped on the ---
“Ronald?”
The sound of his name snapped Ron out of his puffer fish infatuation. He looked at Candace but didn’t answer.
“Did you hear anything I just said?” Ron frowns, trying to remember something she had said. Candace forces a smiles, “I’ve been trying to make tonight special because I have something for you.” She gestures towards a black, velvet ring box she’s placed in front of him. He hadn’t realized that there was anything there.
“What’s this?”
“A surprise. If you had been listening to me the last five minutes you would have heard me say how much of a good team I think that we make. I’ve just been promoted and with that big contract you’ve just landed, we’re prime candidates for marriage and children.”
Rob chokes, “Whoa, whoa! What?”
“Please let me finish Ronald.” She’s got his full attention now. “I have no desire to have a fall or winter wedding. Everyone knows that summer is the best time of year for that sort of thing so I figured that we could take the next logical step while we wait.” Candace grins and sits back in her chair looking as if she just cured cancer.
Rob stares at her with his mouth open. “What was that? Did you just propose to me? What the hell was that Candace?”
Okay NOW he uses my real name, Candace thinks. “Will you please just open the box?”
Ron picks up the box and looks at it intently. This didn’t seem right. Wasn’t a man supposed to propose to a woman, when he was ready? This is too much!
“Hi! I’m Kelly and I’ll be you server today. May I interest you two in our specialty Sake Bombs before I take your order?” Ron was relieved for the break from Candace’s impatient glare.
Candace directs her attention towards the waitress. “You know Kelly, I’d love one of those Sake Bombs. Also a glass of water with a splash of lemon juice, but not the piece of lemon in it, okay?”
“Sure! And for you sir?”
“Yeah, Sake’s fine.”
“Wonderful, I’ll be back to take your order in a few, unless you’re ready now?”
“No thanks, we’ll need more time.” Candace answered.
“Okay I’ll be back shortly.”
Ron watches Kelly walk away. He slowly returns his eyes to Candace’s and is met with an annoyed stare. “What were we talking about?”
“You’re kidding me right?” Candace takes a deep, cleansing breath, “You were about to open that box and give me an answer, Ronald!”
Ron takes his own deep breath and looks Candice directly in her eyes, “I hate it when you call me Ronald. I told you my mom is the only person who uses that name and I like it that way.”
She cuts in, “I hate nicknames. You’re a professional man and you should use a professional name.”
“Don’t interrupt me.”
Candace opens her mouth to respond then decides against it. Ron twirls the box around in his hands but does not open it. “I gotta be honest with you. I’m not interested in what’s in this box after that lil speech you just gave. I have no plans of getting married or having kids any time soon and I’ve explained that to you numerous times. And the fact that you would make the decision to go ahead and decide to do whatever this is anyway confirms what I’ve been feeling for weeks.”
Ron stands and walks to Candace’s side. He places the box in front of her on the table. “I can’t do this anymore Candace. I hope you get what you’re looking for.” Without another word, he walks away and Candace is left alone wondering what just happened.
“Oh I see we lost someone,” Candace was startled by Kelly’s return. “Is your friend in the restroom? Would you like to wait to order?”
“No Kelly, it looks like it’s just going to be me.” She opens her menu and does a quick scan. “I’ll start with the Kani Salad, Salmon Sashimi and two orders of Shrimp Tempura.” She folds her menu and hands it to the server. “Oh and Kelly? Keep these Sake Bombs coming.”
Candace downs drink #1 and turns her attention to the ring box Ron had returned to her unopened.
“Asshole.” She opens the box to reveal a singular key on a key chain reading HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS.
Her intentions were to ease him into an engagement by inviting him to live with her. She had plenty of space and her Sherman Oaks zip code was much more appealing than that shit hole he paid too much rent for in Reseda!
Candace reaches across the table and downs Ron’s Sake Bomb in one gulp. She notices all of the happy couples seated all around her and suddenly feels very self-conscious at Ron’s absence.
Instantly, she realizes that she didn’t drive there, “Shit! How am I getting home?”
Sunday, July 18, 2010
I Love My Children But I Hate My Life
I read the most interesting article about parenting by Jennifer Senior. She discusses why parents hate parenting. I'd love to start a forum about this subject. If you haven't read the article yet, take a look using the link above and come back and chat with me about it.
I first saw a link from MSN with the header I Love My Children But I Hate My Life and I instantly thought, "Who would say that?" But, honestly, how many parents have thought the same thing? Why is it taboo to say that you may be unhappy with the way your life has progressed? That it's nothing like you may have imagined?
The article sited many studies dedicated to finding out how parents feel about the transition into parenting. Most of the studies state that, as a whole, parents are more unhappy after children than before. Andrew Oswald, an economist, says: “The broad message is not that children make you less happy; it’s just that children don’t make you more happy.” I believe that there lies the problem.
There are unrealistic expectations that are placed on parenthood. People believe that children will make their lives so much happier and tend to dilute themselves to the real and true struggle of raising other human beings into functioning, responsible members of society. Daniel Gilbert, a Harvard psychologist and father and grandfather has made a name for himself showing that we humans are pretty sorry predictors of what will make us happy, and to his mind, the yearning for children, the literal mother of all aspirations for so many, is a very good case in point—what children really do, he suspects, is offer moments of transcendence, not an overall improvement in well-being.
The point was also made that parent's level of dissatisfaction grew with the amount of money they had. This really surprised me. Their guess as to why this is revolves around age and expectations. People who are at a higher economic status tend to wait a little longer to have children. They've established themselves in their businesses and the community and come to know exactly who they are as an individual. Now, “there’s a loss of freedom and a loss of autonomy. It’s totally different from going from your parents’ house to immediately having a baby. Now you know what you’re giving up” says Jean Twenge, a psychologist. “There’s all this buildup—as soon as I get this done, I’m going to have a baby, and it’s going to be a great reward!” says Ada Calhoun, the author of Instinctive Parenting and founding editor-in-chief of Babble, the online parenting site. “And then you’re like, ‘Wait, this is my reward? This nineteen-year grind?"
Older parents, after spending their entire adult lives in the work force, tend to feel that there's a right way and a wrong way to do everything. Unfortunately, this mind frame can be disastrous when applied to raising children. It can breed competitiveness against other families: "Lil Johnny didn't walk as quickly as Lil Jesse down the street so WE must be doing something wrong!"
I really enjoyed reading this article though I barely scratched the surface of the information provided in it in this blog post. I wonder how many parents would actually fess up to feeling, or having felt, similar feelings. I know I have! Unrealistic expectations alone can make a girl loose her mind! Ahhhh!!! Raising my kids has definately provided the most rewarding experiences in my life so I'm not saying it's bad or a regret. I just think it's unhealthy not to be able to express ALL of the feelings we have. Why do we have to censor our emotions?
I first saw a link from MSN with the header I Love My Children But I Hate My Life and I instantly thought, "Who would say that?" But, honestly, how many parents have thought the same thing? Why is it taboo to say that you may be unhappy with the way your life has progressed? That it's nothing like you may have imagined?
The article sited many studies dedicated to finding out how parents feel about the transition into parenting. Most of the studies state that, as a whole, parents are more unhappy after children than before. Andrew Oswald, an economist, says: “The broad message is not that children make you less happy; it’s just that children don’t make you more happy.” I believe that there lies the problem.
There are unrealistic expectations that are placed on parenthood. People believe that children will make their lives so much happier and tend to dilute themselves to the real and true struggle of raising other human beings into functioning, responsible members of society. Daniel Gilbert, a Harvard psychologist and father and grandfather has made a name for himself showing that we humans are pretty sorry predictors of what will make us happy, and to his mind, the yearning for children, the literal mother of all aspirations for so many, is a very good case in point—what children really do, he suspects, is offer moments of transcendence, not an overall improvement in well-being.
The point was also made that parent's level of dissatisfaction grew with the amount of money they had. This really surprised me. Their guess as to why this is revolves around age and expectations. People who are at a higher economic status tend to wait a little longer to have children. They've established themselves in their businesses and the community and come to know exactly who they are as an individual. Now, “there’s a loss of freedom and a loss of autonomy. It’s totally different from going from your parents’ house to immediately having a baby. Now you know what you’re giving up” says Jean Twenge, a psychologist. “There’s all this buildup—as soon as I get this done, I’m going to have a baby, and it’s going to be a great reward!” says Ada Calhoun, the author of Instinctive Parenting and founding editor-in-chief of Babble, the online parenting site. “And then you’re like, ‘Wait, this is my reward? This nineteen-year grind?"
Older parents, after spending their entire adult lives in the work force, tend to feel that there's a right way and a wrong way to do everything. Unfortunately, this mind frame can be disastrous when applied to raising children. It can breed competitiveness against other families: "Lil Johnny didn't walk as quickly as Lil Jesse down the street so WE must be doing something wrong!"
I really enjoyed reading this article though I barely scratched the surface of the information provided in it in this blog post. I wonder how many parents would actually fess up to feeling, or having felt, similar feelings. I know I have! Unrealistic expectations alone can make a girl loose her mind! Ahhhh!!! Raising my kids has definately provided the most rewarding experiences in my life so I'm not saying it's bad or a regret. I just think it's unhealthy not to be able to express ALL of the feelings we have. Why do we have to censor our emotions?
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Is It Possible?
I've read a bunch of stories about super-successful people. I love hearing how they made it to super-successful status. How they sacrificed and put in crazy amounts of hours and lived in poverty all for the ulimate prize... their dreams coming true! The story is pretty similar with all of them; they had blinding, one-tracked determination and they were going to make it no matter what!
I noticed another trend among these people as well. A strong majority of them had failure after failure in their personal lives. Multiple marriages, children they don't see enough of and lack of 'true' friends.
Is it possible to have true success in both your professional and personal lives? Or are you sacrificing one for the other?
I noticed another trend among these people as well. A strong majority of them had failure after failure in their personal lives. Multiple marriages, children they don't see enough of and lack of 'true' friends.
Is it possible to have true success in both your professional and personal lives? Or are you sacrificing one for the other?
Saturday, July 10, 2010
What's Your Contribution?
I spent this past week on vacation in Vegas with my wonderful husband. We were celebrating my entrance into my third decade and had the best time! For years I've wanted to see a Cirque du Soleil show and The Lion King theatre production. On Tuesday we saw Mystere and Thursday was The Lion King.
If you've never had the opportunity to see one of the many Cirque du Soleil shows, please do yourself a favor and find the closest one to you. It was one of the greatest collections of talent and perfection that I've ever seen! While I was sitting in the audience watching people fly through the air and balance on poles and other people's hands I realized that each and every one of these people we utilizing their talents to the fullest. They were all artists and none of them made mistakes within their art. They were each getting paid to perform amazing acts with their bodies that 95% of the rest of the population couldn't do even if they wanted to.
How amazing would this world be if everyone found what it was that they were good at and actually did it? I used to love to dance but I stopped as a child. I could have been a cast member in a play like The Lion King but I ended up looking at a cubicle wall for 8 hours a day instead. I know I'm not the only person who's life took this same path. Everyone wanted to be something and do something when they were younger but not everyone followed those dreams. Somewhere between wanting to grow up and be a fireman and fighting rush hour traffic on the way to a job you hate we veered off the path of who we are.
I wanted to be an architect when I was a little girl. Although I couldn't see myself doing that now, I can identify that I wanted to create things. Create things and make things around me better.
What's your contribution to this world? Are you suppressing it?
If you've never had the opportunity to see one of the many Cirque du Soleil shows, please do yourself a favor and find the closest one to you. It was one of the greatest collections of talent and perfection that I've ever seen! While I was sitting in the audience watching people fly through the air and balance on poles and other people's hands I realized that each and every one of these people we utilizing their talents to the fullest. They were all artists and none of them made mistakes within their art. They were each getting paid to perform amazing acts with their bodies that 95% of the rest of the population couldn't do even if they wanted to.
How amazing would this world be if everyone found what it was that they were good at and actually did it? I used to love to dance but I stopped as a child. I could have been a cast member in a play like The Lion King but I ended up looking at a cubicle wall for 8 hours a day instead. I know I'm not the only person who's life took this same path. Everyone wanted to be something and do something when they were younger but not everyone followed those dreams. Somewhere between wanting to grow up and be a fireman and fighting rush hour traffic on the way to a job you hate we veered off the path of who we are.
I wanted to be an architect when I was a little girl. Although I couldn't see myself doing that now, I can identify that I wanted to create things. Create things and make things around me better.
What's your contribution to this world? Are you suppressing it?
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